The Triforce Before Christmas
by ReadingBlueWolf
Summary: When Tony's milk goes missing, Steve is sent to the market on Christmas Eve to get more. Along the way he's abducted, leaving Tony to save him. But does he really want to be rescued? (And yes, a certain green clad hero is featured)
1. Organic Only

Dishes clattered against the stainless steel sink; one after another, like fall leaves falling into an abyss. From there they proceeded to be met with green soap and a blue sponge. The cleaning products rubbed across them, freeing them from their stained prison. Once clean, they sat on a rack next to the sink, gleaming as they dried in the air.

"Did the dishes offend you, Cap?"

His eyes turned toward the assassin clothed in black, leaning against the fridge door, and his other senses came back online.

The walls shook with music; laughter and a dying cacophony of conversation rushed in from the living room. Steve was surprised the glass windows in the tower hadn't shattered. The smells of gingerbread and other cookies filled the air—as did the smell of alcohol.

"No, ma'am, but at the moment it's better than being in the other room."

"This is about Stark, isn't it?" She walked closer, tilting her head slightly to the side.

"No, and I prefer not to talk about it." He turned back to the dishes.

Natasha shrugged and leaned against the counter. "Is this about the fact he let Johnny light the manger on fire?"

A plate escaped his soapy grasp. "I don't have an issue with stupidity, Natasha. That's not why I'm upset."

"Well, baby Jesus and his mother will be having mutton for dinner—lucky bastards, I'm starving. Stark can throw a party, but he lacks protein. Anyway, poor sheep. He never had a chance after the hay was ablaze–"

"It's not about the manger scene!"

"So it _is_ Stark."

Steve grabbed the plate in response, rinsing it in the water.

"What'd he do this time?" Natasha prodded.

Steve tossed the plate on the drying rack and turned off the water. "Do you have any idea what he has put me through lately?"

"Other than dish duty?" She glanced towards the plates.

Steve shook his head. "This was so I could get away from that man. He's made me the brunt of the jokes and sent me around all day as if I was his errand boy."

"That's because he knows you're too nice, Cap. He plays off that."

He shook his head. "I shouldn't be this mad. I know Stark's play."

"And you two are friends," offered Natasha.

Steve nodded and replied, "That as well."

Natasha glanced towards the door frame as a voice filled the air with lyrics. _"This is Halloween, everyone scream! Won't ya please make way for a very special guy!"_

Steve watched as Natasha's lips pursed. The familiar metal clomping that entered the kitchen as the song died. His gut twisted.

"Hey asshole, you missed Halloween by two months," Natasha commented.

"It's the Nightmare Before _Christmas_, Natalie. I'm still covered," the voice replied.

Steve reluctantly glanced toward the voice. There stood Stark clad in red and gold armor, faceplate up, scotch in hand. He eyed Steve.

"What's a matter, Wing Tips? Why the long face? Is Natalie spoiling your fun?" Tony questioned, smiling wide.

"No, Stark. I can't say that she is."

"Ah well, it's only a matter of time." Stark walked to the fridge and pulled open the door.

"Tony, do you ever put down your glass?" questioned Natasha.

"Relax, Ms. Widow. Everything will be fine. No reason to get all Mom on me." He looked through the fridge shelves.

Steve leaned against the counter and bit his tongue.

"Where's the milk?" Tony stepped back from the fridge, and pinned the two in the room with hard stares. "Where's my organic milk?"

"Why do you need milk, Tony?" questioned Natasha. "Giving your liver a break?"

"You just told me to put down my drink. I'm trying to. I was going to switch to milk, but _someone_—" He shot a pointed look at Steve. "—drank the last of it."

"I didn't drink your milk, Stark." Steve took a deep breath.

"And who was eating cereal this morning?" Stark questioned.

"I didn't even show up until after lunch."

"Oh no? Then why were you here just as I was getting up?"

"Because you woke up at one in the afternoon!"

~*TBC*TBC*TBC*~

"_Good afternoon, sir. May I alert Mr. Stark to your presence?" Jarvis said over the speaker._

"_Please do, Jarvis. Well, as long as he isn't still sleeping," Steve answered._

"_He __**is**__ actually awake for a change. You will find him in the kitchen," Jarvis said._

"_Thanks, Jarvis," Steve said._

_Steve laid his shield by the front door and removed his brown leather jacket. He followed the stone to the kitchen, where Tony sat at the counter eating a bowl of chocolate cheerios. Stark looked up at him._

"_Hey!" Tony greeted, with a smile. "Wing Tips! Nice to see you. Grab some cereal and pull up a chair."_

"_It's after one, Stark," Steve said._

"_Never too late for breakfast." He took another bite._

_Steve walked to the fridge and pulled out the carton of milk. Shaking it, no sound came from within. He looked at Tony._ "_You're out of milk."_

_Tony put down his spoon and approached Steve. Opening up the container, and glanced inside. "It appears I am."_

"_Why would you keep an empty carton in your fridge?"_

"_Because it's my house," Stark replied._

_~*TBC*TBC*TBC*~_

"Nope." Stark shrugged. "I have no memory of that."

Steve sighed.

"You _are_ going to replace what you drank, right?" Stark asked.

"I don't think he drank your milk, Stark," commented Natasha.

"I wasn't asking you, Natalie. Now butt out."

"He shouldn't be your errand boy."

"He's not my _errand boy_. I'm just asking him to replace what he took."

"But he didn't—"

"ENOUGH!" shouted Steve. "I'll go get your damn milk. Just stop talking already."

"Oh good." Tony smiled. "I get the organic kind in the white carton with the green writing. There's a picture of a cow—"

"What brand is it?" Steve questioned.

"The one in green writing with the cow on it."

"You don't know the brand?" asked Natasha.

"I don't need to. I know what I'm getting."

Steve rolled his eyes. "I'll be back."

He turned and walked to the front door. He glanced about and saw that the party had died down since starting. Perhaps most of the ones invited had gone home to their families in anticipation of the following morning. After grabbing his jacket and shield—he feared what Stark would do to it while he was gone—he exited the building and headed for the store.

**I'm writing this as a giftfic for Tune4Toons. It's also a way to blow off steam so it's not my best work. However, if you see something let me know and I'll look into fixing it.**

**I hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think.**

**For disclaimers see my profile.**


	2. Pigs and Hands

Outside, the cold weather nipped at his cheeks and nose. People shoved past him, clutching their last minute treasures to their chests. People hailed taxis as snow began falling. In the next few hours they would be wrapping those gifts, only to open them soon after.

Being outside with the scent of fireplaces lingering in the air cleared his thoughts. Steve shook his head as he pushed aside the images of cleaning Stark's tower from stem to stern, and preparing last minute things for that party.

He gazed about looking from store fronts to lamp posts. Silver bells, tinsel and lights decorated the majority of things. Some stores had airbrushed snowflakes on windows while others had cling-on decals. In the distance, he could hear bells softly chiming. A smile finally crossed his face as red and green lights blinked about him. It truly was the best time of the year.

Snow crunched under his feet as a snow ball flew by him. Children's laughter filled the air as a more snow balls sailed through the air. As Steve passed a small field in front of an apartment complex, he heard parents scold the children for being out in the cold. He glanced over to see children hang their heads and shuffled towards the open door. As they marched up the steps, a little boy glanced back over his shoulder.

"Captain America!" he cried causing a few friends to turn and look.

"It's Captain America!" exclaimed another.

As his name filled the air, he couldn't help but grin. After taking a deep breath, he approached the few adults watching him and their children. The first little boy who saw him bolted over quickly followed by the others despite scoldings from their parents. Their voices once again filled the air.

"Captain America! Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas, Cap!"

The grin on his face widened as he shook the children's hands then moved toward the parents. "Merry Christmas to you all."

The parents smiled at him, most unsure of what to say to a hero. After some pleasant—yet awkward—exchanges, the children allowed themselves to be herded into their homes before the frost bit them.

Steve watched as they departed. For a moment, he thought about having a family. He didn't regret the choice he made, but part of him wished he could have made a life with Peggy. After a sigh, he turned and crunched onward through the snow towards the market.

The further he walked, the more he was reminded of the 1940s. With the exception of the cars and technology, everything seemed the same. Snow blanketed the ground, coats with pulled up collars with hats a top heads, boots in every color... Some things never change.

A simple bell sang across the street drew his attention and he glanced toward it. An older man smiled at people as they passed, hoping that one would put a few coins in his bucket. Steve looked up and down the street before crossing towards the bell ringer.

"Captain America." The man grinned. "It's an honor to see you."

Steve shook the man's hand. "Please, call me, Steve."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Steve."

He smiled. "Pleasure's all mine, sir. What's your name?"

"Robert, sir."

"It's an honor to meet you, Robert. How are you this evening?" Steve pulled out his wallet, dug through his money, and tossed some in the red bucket.

"Thank you, sir. And I'm fine. Can't complain too much in this weather. It is Christmas Eve after all. And you?"

Steve smiled. "It _is_ Christmas. No reason to be in a gloomy mood."

"Well you have a Merry Christmas and a fantastic new year, Steve."

"Same to you, Robert." He then turned and continued down the street, crunching through the snow.

After several more long minutes in the cold, Steve finally arrived at the corner market. The outside had bars on the windows, and a neon red liquor sign. He doubted he would find organic milk here, but this was the closest market to Stark's tower and one of the only places still open.

An electric bell screeched through the shop as he pushed open the door. Steve immediately felt the gloom come back to him, hanging around like a cloud of cigar smoke. The heavy smell of tobacco and alcohol almost knocked him over. A few teens stood in a corner near explicit magazines. He wondered why they weren't home and where their parents thought they were.

Walking through the aisles, he saw Tony's haven. The aisle consisted of scotch and a certain product the playboy would need in order to remain childless. Steve shook his head and moved towards the refrigerator.

Twice he looked over the fridge before he realized there was no organic milk. It held something that looked like it was milk at one point, but a yellow fluid sat at the top and chunks seemed to form at the bottom. Steve quickly turned away.

He approached the owner; a large man, black beard with a red Santa hat. He was dressed in a grey shirt and reeked of cigarette smoke. Steve thought he identified another smoke smell on the man, and his red eyes confirmed that fact. He was watching a soap opera on a small snowy TV. How he knew what was going on in the show was beyond him.

"Good evening, sir," Steve said.

The man grunted like a pig in response.

Rogers wondered momentarily if this man could speak English. He glanced towards the teens still checking out the magazines, pondering if they would be someone better to ask. With the obsession they had over the magazine, he decided to take his chances with pig-man. "I was wondering where I could find organic milk."

The man grunted.

Steve took a breath and spoke slowly. "Do you know a store nearby where I could find organic milk?"

The man narrowed his eyes and didn't respond. Rogers wondered if he could speak pig. Maybe if he tried to oink and snort, he would have a better shot of finding milk. Or maybe just a moo would suffice.

"Go through Central Park to 86th street. 86th and 5th has a store still open where you can find your _organic milk_," the man huffed.

Steve nodded and slowly backed away. "Thank you, sir. Have a Merry Christmas."

"Yeah, yeah, get out of here." He growled and waved him off then turned back to watching a soap opera on a small TV.

He left the store to the screech of another electronic beep. The wind on the street met his cheeks—apparently picking up in the last few minutes—and started to creep under his jacket. Pulling up his collar, he headed for the park.

As he neared the park, a jingle of bells sounded from behind him. A last minute sleigh ride with a young couple, slid past him. The horse was a stunning grey mare that seemed to blend in with the dying light. He smiled at the sight and imagined that Peggy would have loved that.

Steve entered the park to find it serene and calming. It reminded him of a scene straight out of a Christmas movie. The bells from the sleigh died away, as the snow glistened in the sunset. With the blanket of white laying about him, he felt like crawling under it and going to sleep. He'd rather sleep in the snow then back at the tower. Why had he asked to bunk there for the night?

He shook his head and looked at the ice crystals hanging from the trees. The blue birds were gone for the winter. Squirrels were nowhere to be found. Everything had retreated to their dens to warm themselves. _Humans did the same thing,_ he thought idly as he continued down the path. They hid in their apartments, townhomes or house—_towers_—trying to find warmth. They huddled together sharing a warm smile, or a cuddling just to bring heat to the cold that surrounded them.

A snow man sat just off the path, smiling at him with coal lips. His carrot nose looked a little frosted—and like a horse had been chewing it for a midday snack. Two friendly coal eyes looked at him, watching him make his way in the snow. A top hat sat on his head, slightly tipped in respect. Two stick arms poked out the sides, one raised in a wave. A red and black checkered scarf sat around his neck.

He imagined if the snow man—Parson Brown—could talk, he would ask if he was married. Then, when Steve replied no, he would find the perfect woman for him. Perhaps he could help him go back in time and marry Peggy. Life would be grand that way. It's something that would never happen, but still.

"Nice seeing you too, Frosty," Steve said with a wave.

Steve heard the buzz of lights above as the street lights came on. They turned the white snow into something that only movies could see. He paused to just admire the scenery. Tony's milk could wait.

Several minutes passed as the serene park eased his tired soul. He became aware of a presence hovering above him. He found it odd that something would be out this late at night. When he didn't hear the soft _whish_ of Stark's suit, nor Thor crashing to the ground, he looked up to see a large white glove above him.

The hand was enormous. Steve wasn't sure what to think and as he continued to stare, it did something rather odd. It descended upon him like he was rock and it was paper. In a matter of seconds, the gentle wonderland around him disappeared into the unknown and he lost consciousness.

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	3. Rare Sighting

**Hope you enjoy! Questions, comments, other thoughts? Let me know.**

Tony watched as the remaining S.H.I.E.L.D. agents gulped down the last of the booze. The sooner they were gone, the sooner he could get down to his workshop. He had turned down the music a few notches to indicate it was time to start exiting. If they didn't get the hint in about two minutes, he was going to start clearing them out with air horns. He glanced to his left as Banner walked up to him.

"It was a great party, Tony."

"On your way out too, big guy?"

"I thought I was allowed to stay?"

"I thought you were leaving while I was left with these S.H.I.E.L.D. lackeys."

"No, I'm just going to retire to my room for the night," replied Banner.

"You're not going to accompany me to the workshop?"

Banner shook his head. "Not tonight. I'm worn out from the last three nights."

"I thought we were science bros forever?" Tony sighed.

"I wasn't planning on getting that close to you. I thought that was Steve's place," Banner replied, sarcasm leaking into his voice.

"Very funny. You're jumping on that bandwagon?"

"Your Christmas gift is a shirt that reads '_Team Stony_'."

"Thanks for the support, Banner." Tony rolled his eyes.

"Anytime. Speaking of Cap, where is he?"

Tony shrugged. "Haven't seen him since he ran out to get milk earlier."

"He ran out on Christmas Eve to get milk?"

"Yeah, he drank the last of mine."

"That's not what you told me," Banner replied.

"_Have you ever had Chocolate Cheerios, Banner? They're amazing. Like a gift from above."_

"_That good, huh?"_

"_The angel on the manger has been eyeing them all day, but I used the last of the milk and he doesn't like plain cereal. Apparently adding Scotch doesn't whet his appetite, either." Tony said with a look at an angel hanging over the manger._

"_Have you been drinking?" asked Banner._

"_The question is when am I not drinking?" Stark smirked._

Tony shook his head. "I don't remember that."

"You probably wouldn't since you were drunk."

"Why does everyone seem to think this is uncommon?"

Banner sighed. "Maybe you should go look for him, Tony. I haven't seen him in hours. And it is Christmas Eve. He shouldn't be alone in the cold."

Tony shrugged. "I guess the bachelor pad _is_ missing its third Stooge. I'll go find Curly."

"Good luck, Larry."

Tony aimed a pointed look at Banner. "I'm Moe. You're Larry."

"Whatever you say, Stark. Whatever _you_ say."

Tony turned and headed for the gantry. His faceplate came down with a sharp click as his footsteps clomped into the brisk night. Snow lined the entire platform. Luckily, his suit was heated and he had fixed the icing problem long ago—spending Christmas Eve as a Starksicle didn't seem appealing. He heard a gentle roar as his boots flared up. Snow burst from under them as the boosters flickered to life. He took a step and dropped from the platform towards the ground. His arms splayed out to the sides, making him look similar to a penguin—except he was red and gold. His penguin technique halted his fall and he hovered momentarily, before slowly descending towards the ground.

He watched the skyscrapers rise above him. Emergency lights from the windows twinkled at him as he gazed through the HUD. Despite the heat from his suit, he could feel the cold nipping at the metal. A thermometer in the corner read 27 degrees Fahrenheit with winds at 10 MPH. That would definitely explain why he was starting to get chilly.

"Jarvis, when I cut the thrusters, send power to the heat. Let's pretend I'm in front of a fire instead of looking for Wing Tips."

"Yes, sir. Would you also like cocoa with marshmallows to go with that request?"

"I didn't program that into the suit."

"No, but you did consider it."

"With cocoa? That doesn't sound like me."

"With Scotch, sir."

"_That_ sounds like me."

As he landed, a few last minute shoppers paused and gawked. He would have figured by this point it was a common sight to see the Iron Man armor—apparently not. A few took out their phones and snapped pictures like they had just spotted Big Foot. He did his best to ignore the wide eyed and opened mouth.

His attention turned to the ground outside the tower. Footprints were seen scattered left and right across the flurry covered sidewalk. Any sign of Steve's were long gone by now. Luckily, Tony knew the layout of the land well and turned towards the closest market. Steve would have tried there first. Maybe Tony should have given him clearer instructions before sending him into the cold winter's night.

He trudged through the streets as the passers by continued to stare. Apparently it wasn't every day they saw Iron Man walking among them—_more like every other day_. Usually though he was seen flying among the towers on his way to some sort of business. When they woke up on Christmas morning most people would assume this event of him walking among them was a dream. They would need those grainy cell phone pictures to remind them they had actually seen him.

As he continued on, his suit picked up the soft jingling of a bell before him. Honing in on where it originated from, he saw an older man ringing for charity. It _was_ that time of year; the time where you gave money because it was the right thing to do. It was supposed to help the less fortunate. It was also the time of year when people took the most advantage. Those people disgusted Tony. He walked up to the gentlemen ringing and flicked up his faceplate.

"Hello," his voice sounded awkward, even in his own ears.

The gentlemen smiled in greeting. "Hello, Mr. Stark." Tony couldn't help but notice the man's red cheeks hiding behind a fine white beard, and his red nose. "What brings Iron Man out so late on the night before Christmas?"

"I was looking for a colleague."

"Oh, Captain America by chance?"

"Yeah, Steve." Tony replied. "Have you seen him?"

"It's been a few hours. He was headed in that direction." He issued with his bell.

"Thanks, er… Sir. Keep up the fine work."

"You too, Iron Man." The man smiled.

Tony headed in the direction indicated by the bell ringer—towards the market he had assumed Steve went too. Not for the first time that night would Stark feel like he wasn't living up to his hero title. As he marched away from the man, bells in the distance started ringing. It reminded him of a famous Christmas song.

_Hark! how the bells, sweet silver bells, all seem to say, 'Throw cares away.'_

His stomach twisted for some odd reason. Throw cares away? He had pretty much thrown Steve away—tossed him away like yesterday's news if he was honest. Steve hadn't been seen in hours, and he hadn't exactly care.

Steve was one of his closest friends and allies despite their issues, and he had treated him like a bad money deal. He should have been worrying about why Steve didn't return half an hour after he left. Had something happened to him?

Tony shook his head. It probably wasn't anything worth worrying about. Steve was fine. He was just cooling off somewhere. However, not to check in at all was very unlike the prompt Captain America. Tony couldn't let it get the better of him. Everything was going to be fine. He shrugged and continued forward.

Tony soon reached the store. Another bell greeted him as did more lyrics. _Christmas is here, Bringing good cheer, to young and old, meek and the bold._

Christmas wasn't bringing good cheer. He had seen to that. He had made Steve's Christmas miserable.

Tony walked up to the cashier. The man reeked of weed. Under different circumstances Tony might have considered returning.

"Have you seen a brown-haired man who looked out of place come through here?" asked Tony.

"That freak with the shield?" questioned the man.

Tony looked the cashier up and down. He wasn't sure if the cashier should be calling Steve a freak considering his condition. The man looked similar to a barn animal. "Sure, I'm talking about him. When did he come through here?"

"A few hours ago. Why?"

"Where'd he go?"

"You haven't answered my question," grunted the half man, half—_pig?_

"I'm just looking for my friend. Now tell me where he went too." _Pig Lord?_

"I sent him to the local market to get his organic milk. I should have known he was fetching it for his boyfriend. You're the woman in relationship aren't you? You like taking—"

Tony was out the door before the man had time to finish his remark. Apparently, the fact that he was a ladies' man and one of the biggest playboys in history was a difficult concept for many people to understand. He wasn't quite sure why either. He didn't swing that way or play for the other team. Ever.

With a sigh, he continued clomping through the white streets. More bells chimed in the distance. He was growing tired of it.

_Ding, Dong, ding, dong, that is their song, with joyful ring, all caroling._

He had a feeling that by the time he returned home he was going to hate that song—and bells in general. Those damn things were all around him during this season. Their song was playing loud and clear. What he wouldn't give for a Scotch at the moment, just to push that accursed sound from his mind. With his luck, they'd follow him into his drunken state. There was no escaping those blasted things. He grumbled as he looked at the lights that surrounded him; red and green for the season. Tinsel and garland hung from most stores. Why did they chose to decorate this place like Santa and his reindeer had thrown up? No wonder Scrooge said 'Bah Humbug'.

His gaze rose to see Central Park before him.

The store that sold the organic milk was through there. He had made the trip countless times, usually in his suit—usually flying. He wondered if Steve had entered. He wasn't sure if Wing Tips remembered the short cut through the park. The man was technically over seventy years old, and some things were lost on him—actually, most things were lost on him. Tony wouldn't be shocked if he had gotten lost in the park.

Snow lined every inch of the park. Everything was frozen solid in its icy grip. A snow man sat winking at him.

"What are you looking at Frosty? Have you seen Steve?"

The snowman smiled in response.

Tony walked a bit further into the park. Icicles hung down from trees reminding Tony of claws. Wasn't Christmas supposed to be happy?

He continued through the park until he came to the frozen lake. He knew that he should be looking for Steve, but would skating across the frozen pond really deter him that much? Skating had been one of his favorite things as a child—apart from inventing things. He rarely had time to himself these days with his company and S.H.I.E.L.D breathing down his back.

He approached the lake without another thought and stepped onto it. He listened for the tell-tale crack. Could it hold his heavy armor? When nothing happened, he skated out onto the ice. His faceplate flicked open so he could feel the wind nip at his nose and cheeks. Despite his hatred toward some things, he really enjoyed the holidays. He just wished people wouldn't take advantage of the best times of the year.

Snow began to gently fall about him as he stopped his skating. It had been a wonderful experience, but Steve was still missing. Perhaps when everything was said and done, he could romance a date on the ice. That was a great idea. And then he could fly them back to the tower and—

Something glinted in the distance. What was it? It looked like a shield. Steve must gotten lost in the park.

He sighed as he approached the shield, finding it odd that Steve was dressed in green. When had Steve changed outfits? Last Tony knew Cap had been dressed in something similar to his star-spangled hero outfit. Or maybe he had on a leather jacket? Or maybe it was the spangled outfit and the jacket? Tony shrugged. Did it honestly matter?

"Wing Tips!" shouted Tony. "Are you alright?"

When Steve didn't turn around, Tony became slightly concerned. Had Steve gone deaf? What had happened to him in such a short amount of time? Hadn't they been chatting it up a few hours ago? Actually, they hadn't been chatting it up. Tony had been annoying the shit out of Steve. The fact he let Johnny burn the lamb, and then allowed Logan to carve through the wood ashes of the manger scene hadn't exactly thrilled Steve. He was pretty positive Captain America hated him.


	4. The World in Pink and Grey

Tony drew closer. He found it rather odd that Steve had a sword strapped to his back. Captain America carried his shield and a gun—never a sword.

The white tights he wore were ridiculous. What in God's name had happened to Steve? Had he stopped at a costume store? This wasn't Halloween—maybe Steve didn't know that though. However, Tony quickly realized that this probably wasn't Steve. In fact, he was sure it wasn't. His faceplate snapped down.

"Hey! "

Tony got quite a surprise when the man turned around. A green floppy cap atop his head fluttered as he spun. His sword and shield were in his grasp in less than thirty seconds. Tony's HUD lit up as Jarvis automatically analyzed the face. If the sight before him was real… _No._ There was _no_ way it was real. He was just _really_ drunk—_apparently others are really drunk tonight as well_.

"Who you are?"

The stranger's piercing blue eyes narrowed.

Tony shook his head. "I have to be wasted."

"Sir," Jarvis commented, as _Analysis Complete_ flashed across the interface. "I must inform you this man appears to be—"

"I know, Jarvis!" If Jarvis identified the man before him as real, then maybe he wasn't drunk. If that was the case…

How was it that Link from those Legend of Zelda video games was standing before him—very much alive and breathing? Nothing shocked Tony Stark, but this, however, left him a bit speechless. What the hell was going on, and did this have to do with Steve's disappearance?

Tony took a deep breath. "I love your outfit and rendition of the green fairy boy. It's spot on. But it's not Halloween. And aren't you cold in those tights?"

"HIYAAA!" The fairy boy leapt forward, slashing his sword at Tony.

"What the—?" Tony backed up a few steps. The sword missed him by inches. "What the hell are you doing?"

The fairy boy lunged again. Tony put up a defensive energy shield. The sword ran against it, bouncing the boy in green backward.

"Seriously, what's going on? You look like that fairy boy. What's your name?"

He rolled back onto his feet and raised his shield. His sword swung in his hand as he changed his grip. He lunged again only to be met with the shield. Tony flipped up his faceplate.

"Hey, King Arthur. Calm it down already."

The fairy boy's eyes grew wide. Seemingly unsure of what to do next, he gripped his sword tightly, and held his shield in front of him. Apparently this kid was set on survival, or so Tony assumed.

"I just want to know what your name is, kid."

The fairy boy's head tilted slightly to the left and opened his mouth to speak.

A soft pink glow illuminated to Tony's right, quickly drawing both their attentions. In moments, a pink puffy creature appeared. Its large blue eyes looked up at the two people before it. A curl of bangs came down its forehead. Two cat ears sat atop its head. The faceplate snapped over Tony's eyes. Once again the HUD flashed as Jarvis analyzed it.

"Sir, it appears that the 39th pokemon has come across your path. It is known for its sleep attack."

The fairy boy braced himself and shifted his stance. Apparently, he was going to attack the pink puff ball. Before anyone moved, however, the pink puffball's eyes began to glow softly.

"Uh, Jarvis, what's going on? I never played any of the pokemon games."

"The creature's eyes glow, mesmerizing its opponent before attacking."

"Are you telling me it's about to sing?"

Before Jarvis could answer, a microphone appeared in the creature's hand and a slow enchanting melody left its lips as a pink glow radiated from its skin. "Jiggaly... puff... jiggaly... puff! Jiggaly... puff... jiggaly..."

Tony turned to see fairy boy yawn as his sword and shield drooped towards the ground. Out of all the thoughts running through his head, one question fought its way to the forefront. _Where did the pink puff get a microphone?_

"Sir, the creature termed _Jigglypuff_ has begun its song."

"Yeah, I kinda got that, Jarvis."

"The man identified as Link is succumbing to its enchanted lullaby."

"Really, Jarvis? I hadn't noticed that either," grumbled Tony, before turning to the fairy boy. "Hey! Sleepy head! Wake up!"

The fairy boy yawned again as his head drooped. Tony stepped closer and shook him.

"Hey green fairy boy! Wake up!"

"Jiggaly... puff... jiggaly... puff! Jiggaly... puff... jiggaly..." The creature's song echoed through the trees as the world around Tony turned into a pinkish hue. Snow, trees, and ice all turned pink like cotton candy.

In a matter of moments, pink overwhelmed his vision as well and the HUD faded from sight. Tony felt like he was falling. He was certain that this must have been what Alice felt like when she fell through the rabbit hole.

After a few moments, the HUD system rebooted and came back online, allowing Tony to see his surroundings. Objects enveloped in a pink hue passed his sight. He was certain he saw a piano, a cow, and a horse—_must be going to a barn_. His brow crinkled when the thought he saw a giant triangle pass him, along with what could have been a castle and perhaps a boat. At least Alice's fall had been seen in normal light and hers had eventually ended.

During the fall, he had plenty of time to think about recent events as he descended through wherever, toward whatever. Something was always going on, from people stealing his armor to Loki and his drama queen acts; his life was always full of crazy things. At least it was never dull. He shook his head.

However, all of this still didn't eliminate the possibility this was a dream. Jarvis had spoken in his dreams before.

"Maybe someone added an ingredient or two to those brownies."

The world shifted under him again. He was about to find out…

_~*TBC*TBC*TBC*~_

A soft mattress lay beneath him. A fluffy pillow supported his head. Wherever he was, it was fantastic. There was no Stark, no party, no people—well, if you didn't count the psychotic woman pacing next to him.

After being nabbed by the white-gloved hand, he had gone through a black swirling tunnel that spit them out into another land. Steve had been worried for a while. Would he be able to get back through the warp hole? _Could_ he get back through the black swirled warp hole?

Grass passed under him as the hand holding him hostage flew towards a large stone castle in the distance. Steve had seen pictures of castles in history class—this wasn't like those in the least. It was massive, extremely detailed; something he didn't think humans could ever achieve by physical labor. He was in awe of the sight.

Surrounding the castle was a large moat. He expected to see crocodiles and was sorely disappointed. In the distance, he heard a howl and glanced over to see a gold wolf with white markings. It sat on a cliff, muzzle raised toward the sky, an odd melody coming from its lips. Well, if that wasn't strange and very interesting at the same time.

He looked down as a massive stone wall flew past. A small town lay inside the walls. People scurried from place to place going about their daily affairs. Steve smiled at the thought. Maybe he should stay here. Times seemed simpler and more relaxed. Maybe he could open a shop and hang his shield on the wall. It would probably be a lot less stress which is something he could use. It could be a great place to retire. His body needed it after dealing with Nazi's, being frozen, and any prank Stark pulled on him.

The white-gloved hand wasted no time as it rose up to the top of the tower. It magically went through a stone wall and entered the castle. Steve found himself in what appeared to be a jail. The hand threw him through iron bars and he had landed roughly on the ground. The gloved hand—which magically now held his shield—placed the circular device on the wall opposite of him, then left.

Steve dusted himself off, and looked up to find a blonde woman with blue-grey eyes and a long flowing pink dress watching him. Atop her head sat a crown.

Three hours later—give or take—he was still in the same grey prison cell with the woman pacing incessantly. In any normal situation he would have immediately jumped to her aid. After dealing with Stark, however, the girl—who might be a figment of his imagination—could wait. Right now, he needed some time to himself and a nice long nap.

**Thanks to all who have read and those who have reviewed. Hope you're enjoying it!**


	5. What Do You Want?

**I know I disappeared. Life happens sadly, otherwise I would write until I died. If you're still following, know I love you!**

**Also, as before this is a fic to blow off steam (and kill writer's block) so I can laugh as well as a giftfic. It's not the best, but any suggestions are appreciated and I will definitely look into them! Anything you want to see, feel free to mention that as well and I will see if I can find a way to add it.**

* * *

Steve sighed softly as the woman in pink and purple wore a trail in the grey stone floor next to him. Turning towards the cold stone wall, he threw an arm over his face and allowed his body to relax again.

It was a lovely feeling—sleeping in this world. For some reason, it was different then when he slept in his own world. Despite the fact he had slept—in ice—around seventy years, Tony had drained him of all the strength he had stored up during then. And despite having been injected with the super soldier serum, it was still wearing when dealing with any Stark family member.

He next realized he wouldn't be home for Christmas, but found himself strangely okay with that. As long as he could finally relax, nothing else matter at the present.

Images of snow men and Christmas trees with lights filled his mind as did dances with Peggy that he never had—snow fluttering down, kissing her red cheeks, just like he wanted too. The music swelled, he spun her. As the song died he leaned down, trying to cross the distance between his lips and hers.

A loud sigh interrupted his dream and caused him to startle. His arm hit the grey stone wall and he sucked in a sigh. Sitting up, he looked over the woman—_princess?_ Despite her gaze out the window, her body was facing him—foot was tapping loudly against the grey stone floor.

Why she was mad at him, he hadn't the slightest—he didn't even know her. All Steve knew was that a white, gloved hand through him in this cell, and he found the cot under him very comfortable. The woman sighed again.

Steve sighed. "Ma'am, what can I assist you with?"

She looked at him—blue-grey eyes studying him closely. A fake look of shock had crossed her face. He could read her as well as he could read Tony—_open book status._

"Oh, I wasn't…" she began.

"Don't lie to me, miss. It's been a very long day. Why are you sighing?" grumbled Steve. He sat up, propping himself up with his right arm.

"Don't you want to get out of here?" she questioned, crossing her arms.

He shook his head. "At the moment, no. This is the most rest I've had all year."

"We can't let Master Hand control us like this!" she exclaimed, her arms flew up into the air to make her point.

He sighed and moved to lean back against the grey stone wall. The cool stone made its way through his shirt and cooled his back. It was then he realized he was always on edge recently and never sure why. Despite Tony playing pranks on him, Nick Fury asking him about _S.H.I.E.L.D. this and S.H.I.E.L.D. that_, the government wanting him to run for office or do military campaigns, or civilians pleading with him to help out in their mundane tasks, or—Steve's brow rose. Maybe he did realize why he was always on edge.

The fact of the matter, however, was Christmas was supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. It had _always_ been one of his favorites, and this year it had been ruined by stress and life. Steve didn't want to get caught up in another world-saving problem; he wanted to forget the worries of life—_and rest_. However it appeared that he had no choice, but to help the fidgety princess before him.

He sighed. "Ma'am, is Master Hand that giant white glove that picked me up and brought me here?"

"He hovers in the sky and is just a hand?"

"Yeah."

"That's the one." She laughed, and it sounded similar to a hiccup. "I'm glad we're on the same page."

"So, what do you want me to do about this, miss?"

"Well, first, we need to get into uniform."

Steve's brow rose slightly. He wasn't sure he wanted to find out what she meant.

—TBF—

Tony blinked as he looked around the green hills. Long grass flowed in patches scattered through the fields. Scattered throughout the land were trees. A dirt path ran under his feet and toward a stone bridge in the distance. Above him lay a rich blue sky, with the sun standing at midday.

Glancing to the left, he noticed an odd looking creature pacing back and forth. It looked like a giant toy horn—blood-red in color—with small spikes pointed everywhere and attached to eight legs. Two giant eyes with black pupils gazed ahead of its path.

Tony vaguely remembered the creature from playing Zelda as a kid. "Jarvis?"

"Sir, that is the Red Octoroc. It is relatively easy to defeat, just be warned of its ability to shoot rocks."

He stepped off the dirt path and into the rolling grass as he attempted to get a closer look. "There's no way this is happening."

The Octoroc suddenly noticed him. After a slight jump and squeal, it spit a rock at him.

Tony startled as the rock tinged off his armor. He raised a lit repulsored hand and blasted the creature. In moments it disappeared with a pop, leaving a shiny green rupee in its place. _Well, this certainly brings back memories._ He approached the rupee and picked it up—surprised it was as large as his hand.

A brow rose when he heard someone behind him clear their throat. Turning, he noticed fairy boy holding out his hand impatiently. Tony flicked up his faceplate.

"What do ya want, tights?"

He looked at the rupee. "I want my money."

"You mean the money _I_ just earned?" Tony shook his head. "No way."

"Do you even know how to use it?"

He paused for a moment as a few things settled in. Firstly, he was surprised Link could talk—and it wasn't a childish _hi-yah,_ either. The boy was in his late teens, early twenties. Also, despite being raised by pretty much no one—if this followed the games—and living in another world, he was fluent in English.

Second, Tony realized he didn't know how to use the money. _How does he carry over five hundred rupees this large in that small a bag?_ Despite this minor setback, he wasn't about to give up his slightly hard-earned rupee.

Third, he had no idea where he was. His first guess was Hyrule—_certainly look like it._ However, that could not be the case. Maybe he was in a time warp, or in another realm—there were a lot of those out there.

"You don't know how to use it do you?" questioned fairy boy.

Tony bit his lip. "I'll figure it out."

The boy flexed his fingers. "Give it here. I'll make sure you get it back."

Tony hesitated before handing the green rupee to him. The boy's brown gloved hands took the gem and as he placed it in the bag hanging from his hip, it shrank significantly in size.

"I've always wondered how that works," Tony commented. "Now, who are you?"

The boy's brow rose as his blue eyes studied Tony. "My name's Link. Who are _you_?"

"Tony Stark." He held out his hand and shook Link's. "How'd you get to Central Park?"

"The forest in that realm?" he questioned.

Tony nodded. "That's the one."

"I'm not sure. I think Master Hand had something to do with it."

Stark sighed. "The giant gloved hand?"

"That's the one," replied Link with a smirk.


End file.
